I hate liking people sometimes, honestly. “Having a crush” is literally the worst. Usually it starts out with you seeing someone attractive or hearing someone say something you agree with and like and you want to know more and you develop this image of them in your mind even though you know nothing about said person. You tell them stuff before you know it their getting closer to you and you to them and then things start to come up, you get to know them more and they do things that annoy you, or they start to lose interest or they dont treat you like they did when you first started talking. When you start talking to them less and less you notice they literally give their number out or make a post like “someone message, bored” when their talking to you or when you dont talk that day. How do you say.. replaced? I would rather you not pretend to only like me tbh, and not tell me im the only girl you talk to because thats such a bullshit line and its over used, and it’s a lie. Why can’t people just be honest. If you like someone show them.. if you dont then dont toy with them leave them alone. I am so sick of people who flirt with everyone talking to me. Literally leave me alone if your going to do that don’t waste your time on me it will go nowhere.
I understand people make mistakes, and I get “forgive and forget” but fuck that in this situation. I never hate people or hold serious grudges. But this is just unbelieveable, especially because they don’t think its a big deal anymore, well to me it fucking is. And I hate you. And I’m trying to forget about it and you fucking are NOT friends with my friends, so don’t talk to them. FUCK. I can’t say I’ve never been this upset, but what you did before was the most upset I’ve ever been, and this is making it worse. Worst fucking friend I’ve ever had and I wish we didn’t go to the same school. You judge me for being “fake” but at least I have never went behind your back, ever. Like I’m actually crying and nothing makes me cry anymore.. I’m that upset and no one understands. My moms on her side, everyone seems to be. For once I’d like someone to tell her to fuck off, especially a boyfriend. But no, everyones like “I don’t hate you, you just did bad stuff” No. Tell her to fuck off. Fuck.
Today, me and my friend where planning our day tomorrow.. sort of a tradition actually. Every Canada day we go with her mom and brother to the beach, then to a fair, then watch fireworks at night. Well this year that’s not happening. I’m tired of being friends with people not on my side about anything. They don’t respect me enough not to talk about me behind my back. They all say the same things too, oh i’m sorry can we just start over, oh sorry but i forgave you, FIRST OF ALL.. forgive me for what?? not telling you every single part of my life? Fuck you. I broke up with someone for talking about me behind my back (you can think that’s dramatic, but i’m not taking shit from people anymore) and i didn’t talk to one of my good friends for a week because they said something about me, why would i forgive you? And another topic.. When someone tells you to leave them alone, you don’t just show up at their house and refuse to leave. that’s fucking annoying. Even after you get hit in the face. Which by the way i’ve never hit someone, that was a big deal. STOP leaving me notes, stop thinking we are going to get fucking fixed. And then you say things like “you can hang with your friends” OF COURSE i can. i dont need you to fucking tell me that. I can’t talk to anyone seriously.. how do you trust anyone after no one in your life has been there for you? Can’t happen. I’m probably spending tomorrow in bed. Oh and this summer, going to parties like its my job, because i fucking feel like it. I can’t stress enough that i have no good friends. Not one.